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30 August 2011

To Hug or Not to Hug...

If you know me, you know I love being a military wife.  Okay, I don't love ALL of it (wet PT clothes in the bottom of the hamper and vibrating Blackberry's at 3am are the devil), but for the most part, being a military wife makes me happy.  I love the feeling of adventure when we move every few years. I love experiencing the "firsts" with my family at each new duty station.  And I love that my kids are growing up with friends all over the world (for real...they have friends in Italy!).  But I think what I love the most is the special bond I have with other military wives.  Corny? Yes.  True?  Yes.  Here is my most recent example...

 I have a good friend, Jen, who lives in Tennessee.  From the years 2003 - 2005 we were pretty much glued to each other.  Our husbands were deployed ALL the time, our kids drove us crazy ALL the time and so we hung out ALL the time.  And by hang out, I mean I would spend 5-6 hours a day at this woman's house.  I believe my love of polish pottery started at Jen's house.  My affinity for tortilla soup started at Jen's house (Jen is a really good cook, btw).  I learned all about raising boys at Jen's house (turns out they like to be left alone while bathing starting at about age 6...sorry Jake!)  Jen's daughter Rileigh would entertain my daughter Natalie.  I helped Jen deliver a litter of puppies in her laundry room, for goodness sake! Do you see where I'm going with this?  Jen and I were tight.

About 2 months ago Jen messaged me on Facebook and asked me if I'd do her a favor.  Well, duh!  Of course I would!  Jen's friend Beth's was being stationed with me!  Jen wanted to pass my name on in case Beth had questions about the area/schools/housing, etc.  I was more than happy to oblige.  Beth and I chatted a few times on Facebook, giving my two cents when asked.  During the summer I watched (is that what you call seeing someone's status every day in your newsfeed?) as Beth packed up, moved here and subsequently had to spend WAY too much money on school supplies.  (Did you know high-schoolers need $150 calculators?  Ugh!)

Fast forward to last Thursday.  I arrived at the annual spouses club sign-up for our post.  For those non-military types, this is just an opportunity to drop in, eat some yummy food, fill out a membership form for the upcoming  year, pray your kid doesn't spill his plate of food and chat with some ladies that you may not have seen since last spring. I glanced around to find an empty place to sit and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar face. Inside my head it sounded something like this, "Oh, there's Beth.  I'll go sit by her.  Wait, is that BETH?  It looks like Beth, I mean it looks like all of the pictures I've seen of her on Facebook, but I've actually never met the woman before.  It must be Beth!  Do I hug her?  What if she's not a hugger?  But Jen's a hugger, so Beth must be too, right?"  (And yes, all of that flashed through my brain in about .5 seconds...scary).

It turns out Beth was already sitting with my friend Suzanne and as soon as I got close enough she blurted out, "Hi Amy..."  And that was that.  We talked for the next 15 minutes and it was kind of like we had always been friends.  It was that easy.  THAT is what I love most about being a military wife. I cherish more than anything our connections to each other because of each other.  Yes, Facebook and social media are a big part of what keep us connected, but there is something else too.  There is something about the commonality we share that is unique to just us.  Not everyone can do what we do.  Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle and that's okay.  But for those of us who do it, our relationships with each other are what make the military and our way of life so special and so rewarding.

Now, if I could only find a way to get rid of that Blackberry...